The Divorcerer Speaks: Divorcing and Dating “Top 7 Tips”

Men and women in the midst of a divorce can attest that some of the hardest parts of divorcing is being “alone.”  There are windows of time, whether it be hours or days that the house is quiet when the kids are with the other parent and the idle time alone (that everyone thinks they will cherish) becomes some of the hardest seconds, minutes, hours and days.  Or, it can be as simple as sleeping alone after months or years after having a partner in your bed that can be hugely discomforting.  No matter how large or small the void and alone feeling is, everyone will say that they experienced it in some form during or after their divorce.

While everyone is busy telling you it will get easier, many clients begin to fill their time with dating others to fill that void of being alone or feeling alone, which can be risky…or rewarding, so consider these “Top 7 Tips”:

  1. Avoid dragging your emotional baggage along for the ride instead of unpacking and sorting your life
  1. Figure out who you are “alone” before jumping back into a dating relationship
  1. Take some time to gain perspective on the past relationship and divorce to avoid making or creating the same patterns in your next dating relationship
  1. Create and envision what you want in a future relationship or partner
  1. Be open to try new things and avoid old habits
  1. Avoid dating simply to avoid feelings of being alone, as the hurt and guilt that can cause yourself and the other person is immense
  1. If you have children, make sure to date discreetly as new relationships can be very confusing and can impact the family dynamic even further