How to Discuss a Premarital Agreement with Your Fiancé

When two people decide to marry, they embark on a journey filled with love, commitment, and shared dreams. But alongside these beautiful aspects of a relationship, practical considerations about finances, goals and planning also come into play. One such consideration is the premarital agreement, often referred to as a prenup. While this topic can be sensitive, discussing it openly and thoughtfully with your future spouse can actually strengthen your relationship and set the groundwork for a successful marriage.

Before initiating the discussion about wanting a premarital agreement, it’s essential to fully understand what a premarital agreement is and why it might be beneficial to both of you. A prenup is a legal contract between two people that is contemplated, drafted and signed before they get married, outlining many key components to a marriage. Some of these key components include how assets and debts will be divided in the event of a divorce, maintenance (alimony), business interests, investments, and planning.

Another key point to consider and pass along is that a premarital agreement isn’t about anticipating divorce; rather, it’s about protecting both parties and ensuring that the relationship is built on trust and financial transparency in the event of a divorce. Approaching the topic with this understanding can help alleviate some of the concerns or misconceptions your fiancé may have.

Timing is another crucial aspect to consider when bringing up the topic of a premarital agreement. Avoid discussing it during an argument or when either of you is stressed or distracted about the wedding or personal matters. Instead, choose a calm, private setting where you both feel comfortable and can have an open, uninterrupted conversation. Lastly, do not wait until the wedding planning is well underway or the wedding date itself is rapidly approaching. You want to ensure that there is ample time after the engagement for both parties to retain legal counsel, exchange financial disclosures, discuss terms, draft the premarital agreement and have it signed well before the wedding. Consider framing the discussion as part of your broader wedding planning process, where you’re addressing practical matters such as finances, living arrangements, and long-term goals. This can help normalize the conversation and reduce the emotional weight often associated with the topic. When discussing a premarital agreement, it’s important to be transparent about your reasons for wanting one. Whether it’s to protect family assets, clarify financial expectations, or ensure that both parties are treated fairly, being honest about your motivations will help your fiancé understand your perspective. Emphasize that the agreement is not a reflection of your feelings for them, but rather a practical step that can provide security for both of you. This approach can help reduce feelings of mistrust or fear that often accompany the prenup conversation.

Your fiancé may have reservations about a premarital agreement, and it’s essential to listen to their concerns with empathy and understanding. They might worry that a prenup suggests a lack of trust or that it could create a power imbalance in the relationship. Acknowledge their feelings and encourage an open dialogue. Ask them to share their thoughts and concerns, and be prepared to address them thoughtfully. Remember, this is a conversation, not a negotiation. The goal is to reach an agreement that makes both of you feel comfortable and respected. Discussing a premarital agreement isn’t a one-time conversation. It’s okay to revisit the topic multiple times as you both process the information and consider your options. Give yourselves time to think things over, ask questions, and discuss any changes or adjustments to the agreement.

Once you’ve had an initial conversation about the fact that you want a premarital agreement, it’s a good idea to involve a legal professional who can provide objective advice and help draft the agreement. Reach out to Jennifer R. Ward of Ward Family Law to discuss the drafting or review of the premarital agreement being contemplated (312-803-5838 or jward@wardfamilylawchicago.com). It’s important that both parties have their own legal representation to ensure that the agreement is legally binding. A lawyer can also help clarify any legal jargon and explain the implications of the agreement, which can alleviate some of the anxiety associated with the process.

Ultimately, a premarital agreement is about partnership, marriage, life goals and mutual respect for the other. It’s a tool that can help both parties feel secure and protected, financially, allowing you to focus on building a strong, healthy marriage. By approaching the conversation with empathy, honesty, and a willingness to listen, you can turn a potentially difficult topic into an opportunity for deeper understanding and connection. Remember, the goal of a premarital agreement isn’t to create distance between you, but to strengthen the foundation of your relationship. With open communication and mutual respect, you can navigate this conversation successfully and move forward with confidence and love. Ward Family Law can help in this conversation, so reach out to our team today at www.wardfamilylawchicago.com.