Practical Top 10 Tips in Dividing Personal and Household Items in a Divorce

Initiating, going through, and ultimately finalizing a divorce will prove to be one of the most difficult chapters in life.  When you add in the emotional component and challenges with dividing personal and household items, it can become overwhelming and quite complex. These possessions often hold sentimental value, which can easily create disagreements over them and can escalate tension.  Memories are often attached to property and possessions, especially if purchased together on a honeymoon, vacation, and in decorating a first home together. However, if each spouse can take a step back from the possibility of making it an emotional prospect and approach this process of division with clarity and a fair mindset, it can help make it smoother for both parties and the courts.

1. Start with an Inventory

Before any decisions are made, it’s essential to create a comprehensive inventory of all personal and household items. This list should include furniture, electronics, appliances, collectibles, artwork, jewelry, furniture, tools, vehicles, and any other valuable possessions. You can be as detailed as you like, noting the condition and estimated value of each item, if known. This inventory will serve as a foundation for discussions and help ensure that nothing is overlooked.

2. Identify Personal/Non-Marital vs. Marital Property

Understanding the difference between personal and marital property is crucial. Personal effects typically includes items that each spouse owned before the marriage, gifts from third parties, or inheritances.  This can include clothing, jewelry, artwork. Marital property consists of items acquired during the marriage. In many jurisdictions, marital property is subject to division, while personal effects may remain with the original owner. Consult with a legal professional at Ward Family Law (Jennifer Ward: 312-803-5838 or jward@wardfamilylawchicago.com) to clarify these distinctions in your specific situation.

3. Consider Sentimental Value

While the financial value of items is important, sentimental value should also be considered and can oftentimes have little to no financial value. Some possessions may hold more emotional significance to one spouse than the other. For example, one person may be more attached to a piece of art, a family heirloom, or a particular piece of furniture. Discussing these emotional attachments openly can help in reaching a fair agreement and should not be used as leverage against the other person; otherwise, you are setting the tone for a long and drawn out process.

4. Be Willing to Compromise

Compromise is key in any divorce negotiation. Both parties should be prepared to make concessions for one thing or another. If one spouse is insistent on keeping a particular item, consider what you’re willing to give up in return. This give-and-take approach can help maintain a balanced division and reduce potential conflict.

5. Seek Professional Appraisals

If you cannot come to an agreement or are unsure, for high-value items such as antiques, artwork, or jewelry, it’s wise to obtain professional appraisals. An unbiased evaluation can provide a clearer picture of the item’s worth, making it easier to agree on a fair division. If both parties agree, the cost of the appraisal can even be shared.

6. Divide Items Room by Room

One practical approach to dividing household items is to go room by room with a handful of colored post-it notes. Each person should have a corresponding color and they can place a post-it note on the items that they may want.  This method helps to organize the process and ensures that everything is accounted for. It can also reduce the overwhelming nature of dividing an entire home’s contents at once. Start with the least contentious rooms and work your way to areas with more significant or sentimental items.

7. Use a Third-Party Mediator or Friend

If the division process becomes contentious, involving a neutral third-party mediator or friend can be beneficial. Mediators are trained to facilitate discussions and help couples reach amicable agreements, while friends may know each of you well enough to provide a less emotional position and input. They can offer creative solutions and help both parties see the situation from a broader perspective, reducing the likelihood of disputes escalating into legal battles.

8. Think About the Future

When deciding who gets what, consider not only the present but also the future. For example, who will need the furniture for a new home, or who will benefit more from having the tools from the garage? Practical considerations like these can help guide decisions and lead to a more equitable division.

9. Document Everything

It’s crucial to document the division of items in writing, especially if you reach an agreement outside of court. A written agreement can prevent misunderstandings and serve as a reference if disputes arise later. If the division is part of a legal divorce settlement, ensure that it is included in the official documents.

10. Prioritize Peace of Mind

At the end of the day, the goal is to reach a fair division that allows both parties to move forward with their lives. Sometimes, letting go of certain items in exchange for peace of mind is worth more than the possession itself. Keep the bigger picture in mind and prioritize your well-being over material things.

Dividing personal and household items in a divorce is rarely easy, but with careful planning, open communication, and a willingness to compromise, it is possible to achieve a fair outcome. Remember that this process is just one step in your journey to a new chapter in life. By approaching it thoughtfully, you can minimize stress and focus on building a brighter future.  If you are contemplating divorce or one is underway, contact us today for a consultation at 312-803-5838 or you can schedule directly with Jennifer Ward at jward@wardfamilylawchicago.com.