The Guide to Being Friendly During the Divorce AND Being Friends After the Divorce

You and your spouse never intended to get married and then end up divorced, right?  You were best friends and are still friendly but you both realize for one reason or another that being friendly doesn’t necessarily make the best spouse or partner.  Whether you grew apart, intimacy waned, the connection changed, infidelity crept in, or the pandemic set you on this path, there is a way to maintain your friendship during and after divorce.  How?  The answer is simple:  Be Friendly.

If you are still in a place of communication, then you have a good start.  You do not have to communicate often, but it is how you communicate that will set the tone, level of cooperation and compromise through the divorce.  By focusing on the same objectives and goals – being friendly – and ending your marriage both swiftly and amicably – you can make it happen.  Your focus needs to be on working toward a resolution, which is oftentimes the fair and equitable allocation of assets and debts.  If there are children, you need to determine a parenting schedule and decision-making.  The right Chicago divorce lawyer can guide you through this process, which will allow for a friendly divorce with the possibility of being friends after the divorce.

Here are some basic guidelines to being friendly during the divorce:

1.    Don’t be negative.  The key is to maintain positive communication and avoid jabs, jokes, threats and touchy subjects.
2.    Don’t play the blame game.  At this point it really doesn’t matter how you got here; what matters now is how you are going to get out of this situation quickly, friendly, and cost-effectively.
3.    Think of the point of view of the other person.  You do not need to agree with the other person’s position or what they are saying.  What you need to do is to take the time to process and understand what it is all really about which can often lead to a resolution.
4.    Stay calm.  Make sure that you are in a good head space before engaging in any communications – whether that be in-person, telephone or email – no one ever gets anywhere if they are aggressive, angry, tired, or frustrated.
5.    Compromise.  You will have to meet in the middle to get to a place where you can move forward.  Neither person wins in a friendly divorce because you are both walking away with less than you have when you are together.  The trick is to find a place of fairness and equity.
6.    Select your Chicago divorce attorney.  Take your time in selecting a Chicago divorce attorney that can meet your needs – the need and want to remain friendly during the divorce so that you can be friends after the divorce.

Reach out to our Founder, Jennifer Ward, of Ward Family Law, LLC for a free initial consultation to discuss how you can have the friendly divorce that you want.  You can reach her directly at 312.803.5838 or email her at jward@wardfamilylawchicago.com to set a mutually agreeable day and time to talk about your case.  To find out more about any of our other family law services, please contact the Chicago divorce lawyers at Ward Family Law, LLC.