The Link Between Perimenopause and Divorce Rates: Timing and Impact

As we move through life, our bodies experience a series of changes. For women, this includes a transition known as perimenopause, which typically starts in the late forties to mid-fifties and can last from months to years. Research has found that this life change also coincides with an increase in divorce rates around this age. While it’s difficult to pinpoint a single cause for this increase in marriages ending, the potential link between perimenopause and divorce is well worth exploring.

What is Perimenopause?

Menopause occurs when a woman’s body is no longer in its reproductive years. This transition does not happen all at once, however. As a woman’s body begins these physical, emotional, hormonal, and psychological changes, she will enter a phase known as perimenopause.

The hormonal changes associated with perimenopause can cause a variety of symptoms, including hot flashes, night sweats, irritability, mood swings, depression, anxiety, sleep problems, and changes in libido. These symptoms can significantly disrupt a woman’s life. When emotional and behavioral changes are added to the mix, it’s easy to see why relationships could become strained during this challenging time.

Potential Links Between Perimenopause and Divorce

Research and some anecdotal evidence suggest that divorce rates tend to peak for women during their 40s and 50s, which clearly coincides with the perimenopausal period. While perimenopause cannot be the only trigger or contributing factor to a divorce, there are several factors that should be considered:

Changes in Emotional, Physical, and Psychological Health: Depression, irritability, mood swings, and difficulty sleeping are all common during perimenopause. These symptoms can make it difficult to work through conflicts or communicate effectively, adding another obstacle to relationships that may have already been strained.

Reassessment of Life Goals: Reaching the “midlife” years can cause many people to reconsider their goals and priorities. For some women, the changes of perimenopause can create added pressure or interest in evaluating their circumstances, including marriage.

Impacts on Intimacy: The physical changes of perimenopause can reduce a woman’s interest in sex or make intercourse uncomfortable. This can lead to distance or dissatisfaction in the relationship and contribute to the decision to divorce.

“Empty Nest” Syndrome: Many couples in their forties or fifties have children who are leaving the house for college, marriage, or other pursuits. As the focus shifts away from the day-to-day demands of raising children, some couples are faced with relationship issues they were unaware of or avoiding.

Tips for Strengthening Your Marriage During Perimenopause

While none of these symptoms or experiences can be singled out as the cause of a divorce, when taken together, it’s easy to see how perimenopause and its symptoms can add strain to a marriage. So, what can you do to minimize the impacts of perimenopause on your relationship?

1. Focus on open communication. Honest but compassionate conversations with your spouse about the changes associated with perimenopause can help build understanding and support. It’s important for both partners to feel that they are being heard and validated.
2. Find professional help. Beyond the medical needs associated with perimenopause, it may be helpful to seek support from a professional therapist or couples counselor. Therapy can help individuals and couples improve communication and reduce conflict.
3. Build knowledge to increase understanding. Educating yourself and your spouse about perimenopause can reduce misunderstandings and miscommunications. When both partners understand the potential impacts of this transition, they can better prepare for and navigate challenges.
4. Prioritize self-care. Everyone can benefit from making their own health and well-being a priority. But for women in perimenopause, activities like meditation, exercise, and focusing on loved ones or hobbies can be a game-changer. Adding supplements or trying a new diet can also be helpful options for some.

Perimenopause May Contribute to Divorce, but Couples Still Hold the Power

The physical, emotional, and behavioral changes of perimenopause can create a challenge for any relationship. It’s important for couples to recognize the potential impact of this transition on their marriage rather than inaccurately casting blame or doubt on one another. While perimenopause may allow issues to surface in some relationships, moving through this difficult time together with empathy and compassion can strengthen the bond with others.

Marriage is hard. Perimenopause is hard. This time in life offers an opportunity for personal and relational growth, whether that be together or apart.

Understanding the possible link between perimenopause and divorce rates is crucial in supporting women and couples through this significant phase of life. For additional (non-legal) discussion of perimenopause, check out Dr. Mary Claire Haver on Huberman Lab’s June 3, 2024, Podcast, “Dr. Mary Haver: How to Navigate Menopause & Perimenopause for Maximum Health.”

When Divorce is the Right Answer, We’re Here to Help

Jennifer Ward of WARD FAMILY LAW, LLC, is available for a consultation to discuss any challenges you are having in your marriage that include contemplation of divorce. You can email her directly at jward@wardfamilylawchicago.com or schedule a consultation at 312-262-5972.